


Big Crush

by Marks



Category: Ookiku Furikabutte | Big Windup!
Genre: Anxiety, Canon Compliant, Crushes, First Kiss, M/M, Yuletide, Yuletide 2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-15
Updated: 2017-12-15
Packaged: 2019-02-15 03:36:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13022427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marks/pseuds/Marks
Summary: “Stare any harder and your eyes are going to fall out of your head.”Mihashi has a crush and he's having a hard time hiding it.





	Big Crush

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pugglemuggle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pugglemuggle/gifts).



> I hope you like this, Pugglemuggle! Happy Yuletide. I love Oofuri and I love Abe and Mihashi! I was so glad you asked for one of my favorite series of all time. ♥

Abe is helping one of the new first-years and laughing. Honest-to-god laughing while he kneels down to tighten the guy’s pads, laughing so hard that the corners of his eyes are crinkling up and the sound travels all the way to the pitcher’s mound.

“Stare any harder and your eyes are going to fall out of your head.”

Mihashi jumps high in the air, and Tajima laughs loudly enough that it drowns out Abe. “I wasn’t – I mean, I don’t –”

“Sure you don’t,” Tajima says reassuringly.

Abe’s not laughing anymore; instead, he’s looking in their direction and his eyes meet Mihashi’s. Mihashi quickly looks away.

“Are we practicing or what?” Hanai calls from right field. “Does anyone remember baseball?”

“Yes, Captain!” everyone shouts in unison. 

Tajima slaps Mihashi’s back as he jogs away again, shooting him a sympathetic look as he takes third.

Mihashi sighs and winds up. 

*

He’s not sure when this whole crush thing started. Mihashi knows that it’s definitely a crush, but it’s not like a switch flipped and one day he went from just wanting Abe’s attention as a pitcher to wanting that plus _more_. He’s always gotten tongue-tied around Abe, has always had sweaty palms and a red face around him. 

It’s just that now he wants to kiss him every time that happens, too.

Mihashi has dreams where he pitches a no-hitter and after, Abe runs up to the mound, swings him around and kisses him in front of everyone. Every time, Mihashi wakes up shaking with unspent energy and it feels like the top of his head is about to explode. It makes him dread going to practice, sort of like the way he did back when he was at Mihoshi, but not exactly like that. Back then, the dread was layered with stress and fear; this kind of dread is because he’s got too much hope.

*

It’s Monday, so Mihashi goes over Tajima’s house after practice. He ducks his head and speaks softly, but he greets Tajima’s entire family by name and even holds Tajima’s new niece for two minutes before he gives her back to Tajima’s brother, scared that he’s going to drop her. They have dinner all together and Tajima’s mom keeps giving him extra, saying he needs more meat on his bones.

After, he follows Tajima into the front room so they can do their homework together, but it’s hard to concentrate on Japanese Literature when all he wants to study is Abe’s face.

Mihashi puts down his pencil. “Yuu-kun, do— do you – have you ever wanted to kiss someone?”

Tajima looks up immediately and throws his book all the way across the room, like he was just looking for an opportunity to ignore his work. “Yeah!” he says enthusiastically. “There was this girl dressed up like a doctor in one of my brother’s magazines. Her coat was open and she was making a pouty face and I kissed the picture!”

Mihashi scratches his head. He doesn’t think that’s exactly what he meant. “What about – you know, someone you know?”

“Someone I know?” Tajima stops, thinks, and then to Mihashi’s amazement, looks a little shy. “There’s a girl in class three who’s cute. She laughed at me once when she overheard me telling Mizutani a joke, and I liked the way her mouth looked when she laughed. Like that?”

Mihashi nods vigorously, then starts wringing his hands together in his lap. “Like that,” he agrees. “But – ah – what if it’s like that but with a guy?” On the last word, his voice drops down to a whisper.

“A guy?”

“Yeah,” Mihashi whispers. “You know, like that, but the person you want to kiss is a guy.”

“Oh, you mean Abe?!” Tajima shouts. Mihashi startles so badly that he bangs his knees against Tajima’s low table, jostling all their stuff. “So definitely Abe. That’s why you were staring at him before,” Tajima concludes, though this time he lowers his voice to normal human levels.

Mihashi hesitates, then nods.

“That’s okay with me,” Tajima says.

 _Yuu-kun is such a good friend_ , Mihashi thinks as his heart swells up with even more hope.

“I hope it’s okay with Abe,” adds Tajima cheerfully, and Mihashi deflates again.

*

Momoe claps her hands together to get everyone’s attention and then picks up the data Shinooka gathered on Sakitama’s new first years. Just like Nishiura, their performance in the last year attracted a pretty big crop of players, so there are a whole bunch of question marks in their lineup now.

Question marks like do the Sakitama first years hang all over Daichi and Ichihara the way Nishiura’s first years hang all over Abe? A different first year from the other day is doing it today, the one who’s jostling for the reserve pitcher spot. Mihashi stares at him from across the dugout, completely tuning out Momoe’s speech about how practice matches are the perfect places for trying out new techniques while still focusing on getting a win.

After the meeting, Abe jogs over to Mihashi and puts his mitt underneath Mihashi’s chin, tilting it up. “Hey,” he says, waiting to say anything else until Mihashi raises his eyes and looks at him. “Ren, don’t be jealous.”

Mihashi’s eyes widen and he gulps. _He knows he knows he knows!_

“You’re not going to lose your starting spot to him,” Abe says, then points to himself with his thumb. “Remember you’ve got me.”

At that, Mihashi can’t help the small, wistful sigh that escapes his lungs. So Abe doesn’t know, but a little part of Mihashi wishes he did. He nods and the two of them jog out onto the field together for the top of the first.

It’s funny that it hadn’t even occurred to him that another pitcher on the team might make him leave the mound, that Abe is so off-the-mark about what’s bothering him. Mihashi guesses that’s because he finally realizes that he’s found a place he belongs and that his skills have improved enough that now he can be confident in them. 

That’s not all thanks to Abe, but so much of it is. He wishes he could just feel grateful, instead of this jumbled mess of feelings.

*

They win the game, making Daichi gleefully declare revenge again. Abe pushes up his catcher mask and throws down his glove, running right to Mihashi on the pitcher’s mound. Mihashi puts his hands up, ready for their high-fives, but Abe surprises him by wrapping his arms around Mihashi and spinning him around in front of everyone.

Abe’s gotten so big in the last year, broader and now taller than Mihashi by at least seven or eight centimeters. Mihashi can feel the new strength Abe’s gained in his arms, too, what with the way they pin Mihashi’s own arms to his sides, but mostly he’s focused on Abe’s chin pressed against his chest and the huge grin spread across his face as he looks up at Mihashi.

 _When was the last time he got really mad at me?_ Mihashi thinks and comes up short as Abe finally puts him down again. But that makes sense because it’s hard to think clearly when he’s dizzy and out of breath.

“Sorry,” Abe says, taking a step back. He looks a little surprised with himself; Mihashi can relate. “I don’t know why I did that.”

“It’s okay, Abe-kun,” Mihashi says. It really, really is, and he needs Abe to know that immediately, so he adds, “I don’t mind if it’s you.”

“Oh,” Abe says and blinks.

*

Once they’re ready to head home and on their way out, Abe’s mother praises Mihashi’s pitching and all he can do is stutter out his thanks and bow his head down low.

“It’s too bad your mother had to work today!” Abe-san says. “She would have been so proud.”

“Stop annoying him,” Abe says, slinging his arm around Mihashi’s neck. Mihashi tries to ignore how warm Abe’s arm feels pressed against his skin.

“You’re a rude boy and Shun is now my favorite,” Abe’s mother tells him. She starts walking ahead, catching up to the other mothers who came to watch their game.

“Shun’s always been your favorite,” Abe calls after her, then tugs Mihashi closer so he can rub his knuckles against Mihashi’s scalp. It’s not angry, not the way it used to be last year. Instead, it makes every nerve on Mihashi’s head light up and he wants to melt into a puddle on the ground. “Let’s get going. We’re having oyakodon tonight.”

Mihashi goes rigid, Abe’s hand still pressed into his hair. “We…?”

“Yeah, you’re staying at my house, since your mom’s working and we’re closer to Sakitama than you are,” says Abe. “Your mom talked to my mom.” Mihashi starts shaking his head. He doesn’t want to be a bother and he already bothers Abe with so many things, but Abe’s noogie only intensifies before he tugs Mihashi upright again and lets him go. “Enough. You need rest and a proper meal, and I can keep an eye on you this way.”

“I don’t— extra clothes,” Mihashi feebly protests.

“Borrow mine,” Abe says. “I have stuff from last year that will fit.”

Mihashi pictures himself in Abe’s house, wearing Abe’s old clothes. They’ll probably still be a little big, even last year’s stuff, and they’ll smell like Abe. Mihashi’s spine goes rigid and he starts flapping his arms like a baby bird.

“Come _on_ ,” Abe says impatiently and Mihashi jumps. Abe’s impatience melts into introspection and he adds, “Mihashi. Ren. I want you there. Come over already.”

“Okay,” Mihashi says, and follows Abe like he always wants to anyway.

*

As much as Mihashi thinks he’s still being a bother, dinner over Abe’s house is fun. Abe’s mother exclaims over how much food Mihashi can eat, the way he keeps up with Abe and his father. Mihashi keeps waiting for the day that all that food he eats turns into height and muscles, maybe like Haruna-san’s, but it hasn’t happened yet. But he’s a little taller now? Maybe?

Shun tells him all about what’s happening in the Boys League, chattering on about a kid on his team who’s nearly as good as Tajima and how they both want to go to Nishiura next year. “Wait for us!” Shun says seriously, and Mihashi nods. They’ll go to Koshien this summer, Mihashi’s convinced of it, but they’re going to go again next summer, too.

After, they go to Abe’s room so they can study, only they’re both too full and too tired from the afternoon’s game to get anything productive done. Plus, Mihashi’s no good at math even when he’s at his best. 

Mihashi feels his eyes growing heavy and he keeps jerking his head up as he tries to hold off sleep, but the next thing he knows it’s dark outside, and he’s waking up on Abe’s floor. Abe snores next to him, sprawled out with his limbs in every direction.

Moonlight streams through Abe’s window, the only light available. Mihashi struggles to sit up and squeezes his eyes tight, then opens them again. He only means to shake Abe’s shoulder to wake him so they can go to bed for real, but Abe shifts and rolls onto his side, pressing Mihashi’s palm against his cheek.

“Oh,” Mihashi mumbles to himself. 

Abe’s skin is softer than Mihashi would have guessed. He’s felt Abe’s hands before, when the team joins up for meditation or when they press their hands together to see who’s nervous, and the skin on his hands is the same as Mihashi’s: rough and callused and usually covered in healed-over blisters. But his cheek is smooth, even though Abe sometimes complains about having to shave before school.

Mihashi pulls his hand back, threads his fingers through Abe’s hair, and then draws them back down along the curve of his jaw until his thumb presses against Abe’s bottom lip. His pulse quickens and his breath speeds up, and he’s just realizing what he’s doing – the beginning of a panic about to set in – when Abe opens his eyes.

Time stops, at least from Mihashi’s point-of-view. They stare at each other wordlessly in the dark, frozen, the pad of Mihashi’s thumb still against Abe’s mouth.

“Oh,” Abe says, eyes wide and mouth moving, and time speeds up again. Mihashi squeaks and scrambles back like a crab, moving until he thwacks the back of his head against Abe’s dresser.

He draws his legs up and wraps his arms around them, burying his face between his knees as he rocks back and forth. _He knows! He hates me!_ Mihashi can’t even blame him, either, what he did was unforgiveable. Abe was sleeping and didn’t even know what was happening; Mihashi ruined the trust they have.

There’s movement across the room as Abe moves, and Mihashi flinches automatically, bracing himself for what’s going to happen. Abe will yell and squash his head and maybe even break his arm, the same way Hatake threatened back in middle school. _I’m so stupid!_

But the next thing Mihashi feels is Abe’s fingers on his wrist, carefully peeling Mihashi’s hands from his knees.

“Oi, look up, dummy,” Abe says, his voice kinder than his words. Mihashi’s heart fills with warmth and hope at the way Abe sounds, and he blinks away tears as he slowly looks up. 

Abe doesn’t look angry, and Mihashi would know because he’s seen him angry. He looks sort of sleepy, but he’s smiling a little and he leans in so their faces are close together. Mihashi gulps.

“It’s okay,” Abe says. “You know I like you, right? Not just as a pitcher, but as a person. I’ve told you that before and I meant it, Ren.”

“Abe-kun,” Mihashi says helplessly.

“Takaya,” Abe corrects, like he has before. 

In fact, all of this has happened before: the closeness, Mihashi’s hopeful heart, Abe telling Mihashi how much he likes him. All of this has happened before; all of it other than Abe leaning in close and pressing his mouth to Mihashi’s, a slow, tentative kiss that leaves Mihashi feeling like he’s forgotten how to breathe.

“Come on,” Abe says once they pull apart, pressing his forehead to Mihashi’s. “It’s late. We should go to bed.”

*

The next day at practice, Mihashi can’t help the way his eyes follow Abe wherever he goes. He watches as Abe gets on his gear, looks as Abe confers with Momoe and Hanai, stares when one of the first years asks Abe a question about catcher signals. Only this time Mihashi also can’t help smiling so big that his face hurts.

It’s worth it, though.

“You sly dog,” Tajima says, coming up onto the mound and whispering into Mihashi’s ear.

Mihashi jumps high in the air, but the grin doesn’t leave his face.


End file.
